main apne sar par hath rakh kar
kasam khata hu ki main jo kuchh
bhi kahunga sach kahunga
sach ke siwa kuchh nahi kahunga
lekin main jab bhi kisi se kuchh kehne jata hu
to wo log mujhe bol dete hai stop that stop that

meri baate sunke dekho hasna nahi
use juth mankar kahi fasna nahi
main sab sach kehta hu aapki kasam
maine piya nahi whisky bear ya rum
madhuri dixir mili raste me
khaye chane hamne saste me
usne kaha tere sang shadi rachau
ghar tere aake main parathe pakau
madhuri ko kaha mere ghar na aana
shridevi ko bol diya na baba na
chahe dahej me de mujhe sone ki car
ya aake koi de de mujhe hiro ka haar
par shadi ke liye main to abhi kachcha hu
abhi sau saal ka chhota bachcha hu
mere daddu pehne dypar chashme par unke vyper
daddy ki tute haddi jab khele wo kabaddi
maine everest pe football khela hai
dono hathose train ko dhakela hai
kusti me dhara singh mera chela hai
mere ghodo ka chandpe tabela hai

dhiru beiman lage aaye cycile
chay pi gaye to dena pada mujhe bill
harshad mehta mila mujhe mandir ke dwar
paach rupaye mange usne mujhse udhar
blank cheque dekhke maine sigh kar di
harshad ne usmese suitcase kharidi
ab income pe koi tax nahi hoga
aur sau ke note pe mera photo hoga
rishwat compulsary karne bada abhiyan hoga
sab mantriyo ka dress chaddy baniyan hoga
neta jo chunav haara sar mundwayega sara
jo dega jhutha bhashan na milega use rashan
gharwali milegi sabko gungi
pulice pehnenge ab sirf lungi
doctor mofat me operation karenge
sarkari karmachari ab kaam karenge

andhe ne kaha chalo film dekhe
langada bola nahi aaja chalo football sikhe
ganja puchhe kaha gaya mera kangha
lule ne mara mukka to hua danga
supari khake budha maare pichkari
andhe ne dekh use ek ankh mari
gunga bina sur tal gane laga gan
suna behre ne sun ke band kiye apne kan
tabhi ek ting ped se giraye nariyal
ab se jyada bachchowalo ko ho jayengi jail
pagal bhi chess khele cricket khelega pele
miss india rakhe dadhi rambo pehnega sadi
budhdhe hone pe sabki hight ghategi
shudh hawa pe sarkar tax rakhegi
chhote bono pe paiso ki bel khilegi
pyar karne ke liye permit milegi

aa raha hai mera ek picture naya
bachchan hai villan meri heroine jaya
subhash ghai ne jab mujhe sign kiya
sath baithke hum donone wine piya
jacky chan ko sikhayi maine fight action
mere gano ko churaye mikal jection
actor nahi main cricketar bhi hu
main to kapil se badhiya hard heater bhi hu
tabhi ghabra kar gumblingne shout kiya
jab sachin ko maine bold out kiya
main aur ratan tata jab lene gaye aata
chakki pe baithe tyson sabko bech raha tha besan
pt usha ne mujhe drinker colder diya tha
jab olympic ki daud me maine gold liya tha
ek jyotish ne jab mera hath dekha tha
na hoga koi mere jaisa aisa kaha tha
meri baate sunke dekho hasna sahi
use juth mankar kahi fasna nahi
main sab sach kehta hu aapki kasam
maine piya nahi whisky bear ya rum
stop that stop that, stop that stop that
stop that stop that, stop that stop that